Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.) This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A- R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W- L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the
Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Recipes from the Twit Army Mess Hall - Cherry Chocolate Chip Cookies
This is just a modification of the classic, Ruth Wakefield (original owner of the Toll House where these cookies were supposed to have originated) recipe. Since I make them for bake sales, where some of the people may have nut allergies I've omitted the walnuts and added dried cherries instead.
Ideally the dough should be made the day before and allowed to rest in the refrigerator overnight but if you're in a rush you can skip that step.
Ingredients:
2 sticks of sweet, not salted butter, at room temperature
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 c. brown sugar (your preference of light or dark) packed
3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
2 1/4 c. UNSIFTED flour
1 tsp baking soda, dissolved in 1 tsp hot water
2 c. chocolate chips
2 c. dried fruits, I use dried cherries or sometimes I'll mix cherries and craisins (dried cranberries but you can use whatever you want. However if the fruit is sugar coated I'd rinse off the extra sugar.
Optional 2 c. broken walnut pieces instead of the fruit. If you want both you'll need to cut both fruit & nuts back to 1 c. each or you won't have enough dough.
1 hour before baking, preheat the oven to 375 degrees, arranging the racks to divide the oven up into thirds. If you only have one cookie sheet use the upper rack.
In a stand mixer cream the butter, (if desperate you can use a hand mixer or spoon but you'd better have very strong arms). Add the salt, vanilla and sugars, again beat well. Beat in the eggs. Now add 1/2 of the flour beating only until incorporated, add the baking soda and water, then the rest of the flour. This will be a relatively stiff dough. Now add the chips and dried fruit, you may need to let the dough warm up a bit to be soft enough to mix in the goodies.
Now refrigerate the dough overnight, skip this step if you're in a rush. When you're ready to bake take the dough out of the refrigerator, wet your hands and roll the dough into balls about the size of large walnuts. Drop them only cookies sheets lined with foil or parchment paper and bake in 375 degree oven for about 12 minutes until they are brown and crispy. This recipe is NOT supposed to make chewy cookies but crisp ones. Remove from the oven, allow to cool for about a minute until they firm and move to a cooling rack until completly cool.
Enjoy!
Ideally the dough should be made the day before and allowed to rest in the refrigerator overnight but if you're in a rush you can skip that step.
Ingredients:
2 sticks of sweet, not salted butter, at room temperature
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 c. brown sugar (your preference of light or dark) packed
3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
2 1/4 c. UNSIFTED flour
1 tsp baking soda, dissolved in 1 tsp hot water
2 c. chocolate chips
2 c. dried fruits, I use dried cherries or sometimes I'll mix cherries and craisins (dried cranberries but you can use whatever you want. However if the fruit is sugar coated I'd rinse off the extra sugar.
Optional 2 c. broken walnut pieces instead of the fruit. If you want both you'll need to cut both fruit & nuts back to 1 c. each or you won't have enough dough.
1 hour before baking, preheat the oven to 375 degrees, arranging the racks to divide the oven up into thirds. If you only have one cookie sheet use the upper rack.
In a stand mixer cream the butter, (if desperate you can use a hand mixer or spoon but you'd better have very strong arms). Add the salt, vanilla and sugars, again beat well. Beat in the eggs. Now add 1/2 of the flour beating only until incorporated, add the baking soda and water, then the rest of the flour. This will be a relatively stiff dough. Now add the chips and dried fruit, you may need to let the dough warm up a bit to be soft enough to mix in the goodies.
Now refrigerate the dough overnight, skip this step if you're in a rush. When you're ready to bake take the dough out of the refrigerator, wet your hands and roll the dough into balls about the size of large walnuts. Drop them only cookies sheets lined with foil or parchment paper and bake in 375 degree oven for about 12 minutes until they are brown and crispy. This recipe is NOT supposed to make chewy cookies but crisp ones. Remove from the oven, allow to cool for about a minute until they firm and move to a cooling rack until completly cool.
Enjoy!
Recipes from the Twit Army Mess Hall - Mussels, Clams and Shrimp with Saffron Risotto and Green Olive Relish
Don't skip on the olive relish you really need the taste from the lemon peel, parsley & olives to complete this dish.
Finished Risotto
Ingredients:
Olive Relish
Risotto
Preparation:
Olive Relish
Mix all the ingredients together in a small bowl and set aside for at least 2 hours for the flavors to blend.
Risotto:
Finished RisottoIngredients:
Olive Relish
- 1/2 cup coarsely chopped pitted brine-cured green olives
- 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
- 1 1/2teaspoons grated lemon peel
Risotto
- 2 cups chicken stock or canned low-salt chicken broth
- 1/4 teaspoon saffron threads
- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
- 1/4 cup chopped shallots
- 1 cup arborio (sometimes labeled risotto) rice or medium-grain white rice
- 4 garlic cloves, minced
- 1/2 cup dry white wine
- 1 cup bottled clam juice
- 20 mussels, scrubbed, debearded
- 12 little neck clams, scrubbed
- 12 uncooked large shrimp, peeled, deveined, tails left intact, if you peel them your self save the shells
- 3/4 cup chopped tomatoes, I use roma but you can use any type you like as long as they aren't the 'sweet' type
- 1/4 cup sliced green onions
Preparation:
Olive Relish
Mix all the ingredients together in a small bowl and set aside for at least 2 hours for the flavors to blend.
Risotto:
Bring stock and saffron to simmer in medium saucepan, if you kept the shrimp shells add them to the stock & simmer until the shells turn pink (This step adds some extra oomph to the stock). Remove from heat, remove the shells, if used, and cover to keep warm.
Heat olive oil in heavy large pot over medium heat. Add shallots; saute until tender, about 2 minutes. Add rice and garlic; stir 1 minute. Add white wine and stir until absorbed, about 2 minutes. Add 1/2 cup saffron stock and simmer until absorbed, stirring frequently. Add remaining stock 1/2 cup at a time, allowing stock to be absorbed before adding more and stirring frequently until rice is cooked halfway, about 10 minutes. Do not try and short on this step, if you add all the stock at once it won't absorb properly and you'll have a soupy mess instead of risotto. Add clam juice, mussels, little neck clams, shrimp and chopped tomatoes. Cover and simmer until rice is tender, mussels and clams open, shrimp are cooked through and liquid is absorbed, about 10 minutes (discard any mussels and clams that do not open). Divide seafood and saffron risotto equally among 4 bowls. Sprinkle with sliced green onions. Garnish with lemon wedges. Serve, passing Green Olive Relish separately.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Steve Jobs ? Surgery ? Liver Transplantation
Just got the news about Mr. Jobs, I wouldn't presume to call people at Stanford to get a medical update so I still have no personal knowledge, but they do perform liver transplantation which is one of the surgeries being bandied about. That being said, with my previous disclaimer still in effect here is what I believe is going on.
Mr. Jobs had checked into Stanford hospital over the weekend and is reported to be undergoing an unspecified surgery, liver transplantation being the one most bandied about.
Here's the catch though, liver transplantation is a semi-emergent procedure and, unless you're at death's door from liver failure, you don't check in ahead of time which Mr. Jobs is reported to have done. Patients normally carry cell phones, pagers, etc. and are ready to come into the hospital on a moment's notice once a liver becomes available. Usually this is less than 24 hours since the clock start running when the donor is declared 'brain dead' and a tissue type is obtained. The patient will get to the transplant hospital while the donor liver is being typed and harvested and essentially as soon as the liver arrives at the hospital everything starts moving. You only hang out at the hospital if you are too sick to remain at home since you can wait weeks for a liver to become available and you're actually safer from infection at home.
The one exception to this is if Mr. Jobs is getting a 'living related' donor liver. That is, a relative, friend, or, in rare cases a stranger, who happens to be a 'match' for the patient is willing to undergo surgery to donate a part of their liver to the patient. Not as bad as it sounds since, unlike other organs the liver will regenerate itself (the Greeks has this right with the Prometheus story) and a year after surgery ofter the donor's liver looks almost completely normal. This is the only case where you'd check in a day or so ahead of scheduled liver transplant surgery. Any other surgeries you normally check in either the morning of surgery or a day or so ahead of time.
Once more details, if any, are made public I'll update this post with further information.
Mr. Jobs had checked into Stanford hospital over the weekend and is reported to be undergoing an unspecified surgery, liver transplantation being the one most bandied about.
Here's the catch though, liver transplantation is a semi-emergent procedure and, unless you're at death's door from liver failure, you don't check in ahead of time which Mr. Jobs is reported to have done. Patients normally carry cell phones, pagers, etc. and are ready to come into the hospital on a moment's notice once a liver becomes available. Usually this is less than 24 hours since the clock start running when the donor is declared 'brain dead' and a tissue type is obtained. The patient will get to the transplant hospital while the donor liver is being typed and harvested and essentially as soon as the liver arrives at the hospital everything starts moving. You only hang out at the hospital if you are too sick to remain at home since you can wait weeks for a liver to become available and you're actually safer from infection at home.
The one exception to this is if Mr. Jobs is getting a 'living related' donor liver. That is, a relative, friend, or, in rare cases a stranger, who happens to be a 'match' for the patient is willing to undergo surgery to donate a part of their liver to the patient. Not as bad as it sounds since, unlike other organs the liver will regenerate itself (the Greeks has this right with the Prometheus story) and a year after surgery ofter the donor's liver looks almost completely normal. This is the only case where you'd check in a day or so ahead of scheduled liver transplant surgery. Any other surgeries you normally check in either the morning of surgery or a day or so ahead of time.
Once more details, if any, are made public I'll update this post with further information.
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