## Wednesday, January 28, 2009

### Math Logic

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. (It also made me Laugh Out Loud.) This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A- R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W- L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the
Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM

## Tuesday, January 27, 2009

### Recipes from the Twit Army Mess Hall - Cherry Chocolate Chip Cookies

This is just a modification of the classic, Ruth Wakefield (original owner of the Toll House where these cookies were supposed to have originated) recipe. Since I make them for bake sales, where some of the people may have nut allergies I've omitted the walnuts and added dried cherries instead.
Ideally the dough should be made the day before and allowed to rest in the refrigerator overnight but if you're in a rush you can skip that step.

Ingredients:

2 sticks of sweet, not salted butter, at room temperature
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 c. brown sugar (your preference of light or dark) packed
3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
2 1/4 c. UNSIFTED flour
1 tsp baking soda, dissolved in 1 tsp hot water
2 c. chocolate chips
2 c. dried fruits, I use dried cherries or sometimes I'll mix cherries and craisins (dried cranberries but you can use whatever you want. However if the fruit is sugar coated I'd rinse off the extra sugar.
Optional 2 c. broken walnut pieces instead of the fruit. If you want both you'll need to cut both fruit & nuts back to 1 c. each or you won't have enough dough.

1 hour before baking, preheat the oven to 375 degrees, arranging the racks to divide the oven up into thirds. If you only have one cookie sheet use the upper rack.

In a stand mixer cream the butter, (if desperate you can use a hand mixer or spoon but you'd better have very strong arms). Add the salt, vanilla and sugars, again beat well. Beat in the eggs. Now add 1/2 of the flour beating only until incorporated, add the baking soda and water, then the rest of the flour. This will be a relatively stiff dough. Now add the chips and dried fruit, you may need to let the dough warm up a bit to be soft enough to mix in the goodies.

Now refrigerate the dough overnight, skip this step if you're in a rush. When you're ready to bake take the dough out of the refrigerator, wet your hands and roll the dough into balls about the size of large walnuts. Drop them only cookies sheets lined with foil or parchment paper and bake in 375 degree oven for about 12 minutes until they are brown and crispy. This recipe is NOT supposed to make chewy cookies but crisp ones. Remove from the oven, allow to cool for about a minute until they firm and move to a cooling rack until completly cool.

Enjoy!

### Recipes from the Twit Army Mess Hall - Mussels, Clams and Shrimp with Saffron Risotto and Green Olive Relish

Don't skip on the olive relish you really need the taste from the lemon peel, parsley & olives to complete this dish.

Finished Risotto

Ingredients:
Olive Relish
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped pitted brine-cured green olives
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
• 1 1/2teaspoons grated lemon peel

Risotto
• 2 cups chicken stock or canned low-salt chicken broth
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup chopped shallots
• 1 cup arborio (sometimes labeled risotto) rice or medium-grain white rice
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/2 cup dry white wine
• 1 cup bottled clam juice
• 20 mussels, scrubbed, debearded
• 12 little neck clams, scrubbed
• 12 uncooked large shrimp, peeled, deveined, tails left intact, if you peel them your self save the shells
• 3/4 cup chopped tomatoes, I use roma but you can use any type you like as long as they aren't the 'sweet' type
• 1/4 cup sliced green onions

Preparation:

Olive Relish
Mix all the ingredients together in a small bowl and set aside for at least 2 hours for the flavors to blend.

Risotto:

Bring stock and saffron to simmer in medium saucepan, if you kept the shrimp shells add them to the stock & simmer until the shells turn pink (This step adds some extra oomph to the stock). Remove from heat, remove the shells, if used, and cover to keep warm.